I ended the last by saying, “we love you, signed your sons and daughters.” That is not just a nice spiritual ending, not at all, but it is an absolute truth that, if believed and acted upon, transforms our lives. How we feel and see ourselves is huge. Our IDENTITY (not ego) is the one thing that either holds us back or advances us forward in life. I had an assistant that worked for me several years back, and as I was ready to promote her, she did something out of character. It was a pattern, so I called her on it and said, is this something you do because you do not feel worthy of the promotion. She said she too was wondering about her actions and came to the same conclusion. It’s crazy how our subconscious voice plays into our everyday life.
It’s the difference between us believing that our glass is either half full or half empty. It’s the same amount; however, the way we “interpret” that amount is enormous. And that view not only affects us, but it affects everyone around us. Our view of our glass is so substantial that it affects how we relate to life. Whether problems are overwhelming or conquerable; whether we can accept and be grateful for good things that come our way or struggle with accepting them; or feeling as if life has cheated us.
Whether we view ourselves as losers when we suffer a defeat in life or whether we can accept the corrections that are common to us all, and allow these corrections to make us stronger and better by them. Our attitude of half full or half empty cannot be more opposite from each other. It is the single biggest determiner of the outcome of our life. It’s what literally charts our course.
Half-full gives us hope and allows us to overcome life’s challenges. Half-empty invites fear and failure and is the foundation of low self-esteem. Half-empty also accepts defeat, as though this is supposed to happen to me.
I love word pictures. Another way to speak about damaged identity is to imagine a hole in the side of a ship. That ship represents us, and the cause of the hole can be many things. However, it remains because of the weakness of our faith. To not see ourselves as God sees us is why the hole remains and opens us up to taking on water (fear, worry, anger, etc.), thus diluting our faith. This makes us unproductive in our Father’s Kingdom and hurts our relationship with others. We need to make an effort to identify with the truth of who God says we are.
To honestly believe that you and I are the adopted son or daughter of the Greatest God and King (the one that created the whole Universe and loves you and me immensely) should change our view of ourselves and begin to patch the hole. We cross the line from victim to victor.
My Dad was one of the school administrators at the high school that I would be attending in a couple of years. One Saturday, I went with him to work, and while he caught up on some paperwork, my brother and I walked the campus. It didn’t take long before we spotted some teenagers climbing the roofs, so I found the janitor and ratted on them. They were doing something wrong at MY DAD’S school, and I wasn’t going to put up with it! The janitor promptly got those teenagers off the roof. Well, they were mad because they knew I had ratted on them. I saw them hiding from us a few buildings ahead, hoping that we would walk past them.
I told my brother to go back and be within shouting distance of Dad, and then I preceded to walk into their trap. Sure enough, they jumped me. One grabbed my arms while the other was going to hit me. Just before he could, I shouted out to Rick to get Dad. I had no fear in my shout, and it was a shout as if to say you guys are doomed now; they froze. They wanted to know who my Dad was. I told them he was one of the school administrators, and they would be in big trouble if they hurt me. They made a beeline out of the school.
I’ve often reflected on that incident. I had no fear, not even for a second, and no doubt of the outcome. I knew my Dad, and I knew that he would come out and stop those boys from hurting me. How well do we know our Heavenly Dad? Do we know Him? If not, then that is why we struggle and why life intimidates us. It is the single biggest reason why we continue to battle with stress, fear, temptation, low self-esteem, insecurity, jealousy, etc.; all the negative emotions that slow us down, robbing our joy and confidence. This is the cause for why we take on water diluting our faith. We hit the bed exhausted from another day of bailing water. There is no objective justification for this struggle other than that we don’t know our Heavenly Father. If we have a BIG view of Our DAD, we have much smaller problems even though they are the same. A strong identity in Christ equals strong security, and the problems do not intimate me nearly as much.
We are raising one of our granddaughters. Her mom, our oldest daughter, is a single mom, and her work makes it challenging to keep a consistent home life. Raising Shawnee takes both Lisa and me, and we spend much time verbally and by our actions letting her know how much we love her. In so doing, we are forming her identity. She’s not only learning that she’s loved, but love adds a sense of value. This sense of value gives her worth and respect for herself. Added to that are God’s love and value which ultimately is supreme above everything. She participates in family decisions as well as the chores of the home. The family that helps us watch her also continues in the same love and affection and chores. I tell my daughters that a second time around is a charm; we know what we’re doing now.
Christianity at its heart is as such. It is relationship-based via our faith. It’s not a set of rules. Though there are “rules,” the motive and reason behind them are so we can have, maintain and grow in intimacy with our Father. If we follow the rules for the sake of rules, we fall into legalism. Our behavior is modified away from a relationship to merit-based living; I do this, and You do that. There is no joy or peace in that. Living by Grace is choosing to acknowledge and accept that I am loved because of WHO HE IS, not because of who I am. Therefore abiding in Him causes me to want to be pleasing to my Father.
As such, there is nothing that needs to be earned. It’s already been given at the Cross. Our part is to say yes to The Lord and no to the things that open the door to sin, thus separating me from Him.
** What is Grace? It has been explained in many beautiful ways. Still, the simplest and easiest way to understand Grace is as sinful and flawed human beings, we have been given the privilege and the highest honor to call the King and Ruler of the Universe our Father. Through the death and Resurrection, which we are now about to celebrate, we have access to this Great and Mighty King day or night, and not just access but access to His heart; as a child upon the lap of a loving dad. In its simplest form, this is Grace. Take a moment and process what you just read. It is so beyond incredible.
When a soldier enlists, he or she is given what they need to fight. They are trained and prepared and do not go into war with the equipment given to inviting injury or death. We’ve been given our identity in Christ. To not grow in that truth and apply it daily is to invite pain and sin into our life. The best investment aside from the Bible to help us with our struggles and fortify our identity is the Jesus Promise Pocketbook. It lists categories of daily struggles and the scriptures that we need to know.
A well-known Theologian was asked in his later years of life what is the one single truth that he has held most dear. Without hesitation, he started to sing a song he learned as a child in Sunday School, “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, we are weak, but he is strong, yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so. Is the Christian faith as simple and as profound as this one single truth? We say we know this, but we only know it in our minds most of the time. It is a fantastic truth that changes our life forever.
The longest distance we will ever travel is escorting this truth from our heads into our hearts. It can take years to travel 18″ inches.
How much more significant and more powerful would our faith be if we knew our Heavenly Father as He has revealed Himself. There are those of us that are on this path, and it is beautiful and free. However, many of us are not, and we act more like orphans than the sons and daughters of a Great King. We are intimidated by situations, especially those that are Goliath in nature. By not spending the time knowing the Lord, we absorb the indoctrination of the world around us. Without His Truth guarding our hearts and minds, we are easily deceived by false promises and the Goliaths in life. Secular advertising does an excellent job of this.
We need to make ourselves unsinkable and unstoppable by memorizing verses that speak of God’s love and faithfulness. Hence distancing ourselves from society’s values (God’s cry from the Old Testament to New is for His people to come out from among the people and adopt and live by His values).
2 Corinthians 6:16-17
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk-in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
There is such a richness in genuinely knowing God as our Father. A Life Truth that is pivotal in our growth. For those who did not have a father or our parents were divorced or had an abusive or absent father, there is a mark made on our soul, making it more challenging to see The Lord as our Dad. As a young man, I so badly wanted my Dad to be saved to talk about the scriptures and pray together, but it never happened. That longing caused me to dig deeper into my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Others I know with similar upbringing struggle with feelings that God will not accept them. Therefore fearing rejection, they live at a distance. My Aunt lived many years as such, getting pregnant before marriage and being a pastor’s daughter she never felt worthy to come to the Lord. Until her later years, God in His Grace wonders in our hearts, preparing us to see Him.
Also, we tend to reflect on God what we experienced with our father. Since our identity is built, good or bad, over a period of time via our earthly Dad, it is a tough change to right the ship and patch the hole. However, God’s grace, the Holy Spirit, and His Word are all doable. Here are only but a few verses.
Psalms 68:5
[He is] A father to the fatherless, and a judge (vindicator) of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.
Hosea 14:3
“For in You the fatherless find compassion.”
Deuteronomy 10:1
“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.”
The hurt that an abusive father or absent father has caused in you is real, and it hurts. However, the good news is it can be and will be filled with love, forgiveness, and joy if you do one thing consistently. You must DECIDE not to listen to the voice in your head. As noted, it will be a hard fight, but you are fighting for a new life, and for the lives you care for and for the legacy you will leave, so you must give it all. And like all fights, there is an end, but I can tell you with 110% percent accuracy that God loves you. You will win. You are not a loser but a winner because of Him. He’s so thrilled to have you as His child. How do I know this? Because I live every day feeling just a tiny part of His love for His people, for you.
For the lost, for the one seeking an identity, a place to call home, for women who give themselves over to immorality seeking for a father’s love, not understanding that anything found here is only a bandaid over a wound that only God can heal. It grieves the Lord because his heart yearns and breaks as you inflict yourself with many unnecessary hurts in search for love. You deserve the treatment of a princess as He would treat you, but until you come to Him, you will not understand. The fear and insecurity we have are only there because we are disconnected from Him. If you come to Him daily, ignoring the thoughts that say He’s too busy, or your too messed up, or He doesn’t want you, or your not worth it, etc., you will find in time that those voices will lessen until they are easily conquered.
He will never reject you. Even on your worse day, He waits for you to come; come to Him even if you fall back into your old sin ( which you probably will, but learn from it). In time you will say no to a boyfriend’s advances as you begin to sense God’s love for you. You will grow into being His princess, promise. Stick to and always believe His promises. Tape them to your mirror, wallpaper them to your phone, wash your mind in these truths, and in time your heart will change as well as your view of yourself.
At times we think that He accepts others because they got their act together, that they are worthy? We spend countless hours in the day and energy trying to put our best face on so that others think we got it together. Yet each night, we hit the bed exhausted because of the energy it takes to wear the mask. We are even more fearful because we are not sure how much longer we can keep it up.
Well, let me give us some good news. No matter how good we look on the outside, how accomplished we are, NONE of us is worthy of God’s love, attention or presence, “no not one.” The Gospel is never presented as such, but rather “he or she that has ears to hear let him/her hear what the Spirit says( Rev. 2:17).” It’s a choice, on His part; it’s an INVITATION not based on merit, but on recognized need. He died for sinners, for the lost, for those seeking a new life that includes forgiveness, peace, and true love that never leaves. It is only for those who want it, and it gets better as we mature in our faith. We learn that we have hope that remains, even in the darkest hours. If this is you and you are willing to go through the discipline of saying no to old patterns of thought and actions/reactions and lean a new way to live, then say a heartfelt prayer asking Christ to forgive you and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. Thank Him and now be welcomed to a new family (Amen!!) By learning God’s ways, we learn to say no to our pride, old ways, and yes to God. We are tired of the life we have been living.
Be the good seed.
**Matthew 13:8-9
But other [seed] fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some a hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
He who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
John 10:10-11
The thief (satan) cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.
Matthew 11:27-30
All things are delivered unto me of my Father: and no man knoweth the Son, but the Father; neither knoweth any man the Father, save the Son, and he to whomsoever the Son will reveal him.
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (He’s very approachable).
This is His invitation to us all, those who “appear” together and those of us who are not. It’s across the board invitation, “whosoever,” that means you and me. Peter concludes with these weighty and honest words.
1 Peter 5:5-9
Concluding Injunctions
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and [but] giveth grace to the humble.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.
Be sober ( alert) be vigilant ( on your guard); because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour( but don’t fear him, he’s had all his teeth pulled at the Cross).
Whom resist (oppose) steadfast ( anchored, grounded) in the [your] faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
James 4:7
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
** memorize scripture and quote it out loud in times of testing.
Once you identify with Christ, meaning that you are in agreement with the Lord and are in the process of dying to self, finding our contentment in being His son or daughter! We then become a target for the devil and his minions. We have been all along, but there is not much he has to do for in the state of being not fully committed to Christ (lukewarm, Revelations 3), most of the time, we are our own worst enemy. It’s easy to cause us to sin. However, once committed, we enter into the fight, yet we fight with the armor that God has provided (Ephesians 5).
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.
Our fight always is preceded on our knees, and the joy we grow in as we follow Christ provides the strength to resist temptation. We never focus on fighting satan, never. We keep our focus ALWAYS on Christ. The enemy deserves no special attention. He and his minions have already been defeated at the Cross. We need to keep him, and us, reminded of this truth. So we fight by being guided by the Holy Spirit and knowing the Word of God. By being sensitive to the Holy Spirit through prayer, we can foresee the traps placed before us. The argument just before church, or just as you are about to pray, or sit down to read the scriptures (though we can read anything else anytime) or sexual temptations (setups) are examples of how and when he seeks to stir up strife. Clothe yourselves therefore with humility and prayer then the enemy has “no wood to burn.”
So to recap… our value of ourselves should not come from our accomplishments, from our education, from how much money we earn or the title or position we have, but from His love for you. If we have been based on prosperity, then let it be known that the Lord has helped you and worked through you to accomplish what you have, and the glory and praise be to Him. Yet, the best basis for a solid and lasting value system and identity is simply being called His son or daughter. No greater title one can have.
John 1:11-13
He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
Having our value of ourselves on this level is like living within the bars and walls of a castle. Very few things can assault us for our core. Our foundation is being built on Christ. Like the song, “on Christ the solid rock I stand all else is but sinking sand.”
Father God,
Thank you for this wonderful, wonderful study at Easter. It’s particularly beautiful because of its timing. You help us and invite us to examine the foundation of our being and, if lacking, show us a better way, a much better way. Father, help us now to do the hard work of destroying the old foundations we’ve trusted in and build anew with the strength, wisdom, and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Years from now, we will look back on this period of our development and see your hands all over it, as a potter’s hands are lovely and skillfully fashions the clay to take on a form of beauty and purpose. Amen, Thank you, Lord
Grow and Go in His Grace/ Have a Blessed Easter – Arthur