1 Corinthians 7:2-5:
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality (fornication), each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Before we begin, let’s agree that there are two directions. There is God’s way and there is my way or our way, and we must decide whom we will follow. (By “our way,” I am referencing societal beliefs and/or allowances.) As mentioned in last week’s Vida, Christianity is not a smorgasbord. To reduce it to such is to directly affect one’s relationship with the Lord, and in effect make what Christianity is all about—living and walking in communion with the Lord and experiencing His peace, joy and love—null and void. You may disagree, but how do you know what you are missing if you are walking a compromised walk? Let me explain. God is Holy, and He seeks Holy people. There is no way any of us can give that to the Lord, so hence the need for Christ’s death and His atonement for us on the Cross. When we accept what He has done for us, there is what is called the “Great Exchange.” His righteousness, as God, is attributed to our account, and our sins are placed on Him. Since He is completely righteous and Holy, the sins are atoned for by His blood, just like the Sacrificial Lamb in the Old Testament atoned for one’s sin, or better said, “covered over” the sins of the confessor.
There is a huge difference, however, between the Old Testament and the New Testament. The blood of lambs could never sanctify man (to make holy), which is God’s standard. In the New Testament, therefore, Christ became the “Lamb of God that took away the sins of man”—to be sanctified. Does that mean we do not sin? No, not at all; but it means that when we do sin and confess and repent of our sins, “they are washed away completely,” not just covered over. So my relationship to God has now been restored (because sin divides), bringing me back into fellowship with Him. And though there are often consequences to our wrong choices—“for we reap what we sow”—even in the consequences, God is there to help and to guide. This was not possible in the Old Testament system, but it is completely possible in the New Testament—in Christ—as the believer becomes indwelt by the “paráklētos,” the Greek word for the Holy Spirit which means, “He who comes alongside to aid and to help.” This is the major difference between the Old and New Testament periods, and it is huge. For me to walk void of the Holy Spirit’s counsel and aid, without sensing His peace in me or His love for me, would make me feel insecure, unsure, and uncertain, and my faith would become much more a religion of right and wrong, instead of a relationship, where daily I am in communion with my Father. Also, the ability to love others would be greatly challenged, as I would be operating out of my own strength—not pretty.
As we study these verses, bear in mind what I have just said, so that the right understanding is gained. “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality (fornication), each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” Fornication, sex outside of marriage, is just as much practiced in the church as it is outside the church, indicating a huge disconnect about what it means to be Christian. Here is an example of what we do, spiritually speaking. If you mix enough vinegar in a glass of orange juice, the orange juice will cease to be orange juice and will become a nasty tasting mix of orange juice flavored vinegar. To practice fornication and claim the name of Christ is to become this vinegar/orange-tasting flavor to God, or it is to become lukewarm, as opposed to a refreshing glass of cool water on a hot day, or pure orange juice, given our example. Lukewarm is the place we find ourselves when we live a compromised life. We have too much of the world to know what it is to have God’s peace and too much of a God conscience to return to the life from which we came. It is an in-between existence that is laden with guilt, frustration, and uncertainty—such is “living” in fornication. When the Bible uses the word, it is not referring to a one-time or two-time event in which one repents and moves forward, guarding one’s self so as not to repeat. It refers to an unguarded practice where sex is routinely performed, as if one was married.
Living together is common and accepted in our culture and practiced from all ages—first-timers to divorcees to seniors, whose spouse has past on but is still seeking companionship and sexual intimacy. My role is not to debate this but to simply state—to the extent you seek to walk, to know, and to be filled with the goodness and life of God, you should so order your life. If God’s presence is of value to you and you are practicing fornication, you need to repent of it and get married or separate. Holiness is holiness and there is no compromising what it is to have or live a sanctified life. (A sanctified life, not a perfect life, means a life where knowing and obeying God is the priority.) If you are content in continuing to live together, then remain and pray this prayer, “God, cause me to understand that the life you have for me is far better than what I could have on my own.” Be honest with God. If you do not understand, then don’t separate because it will not be done with a right heart and will profit you nothing. You will simply be trading one dependence for another, if the desire is not to draw closer to the Lord.
Lastly, learn the difference between the emotion of conviction and of condemnation. Conviction is from the Lord. He is convicting us, because He wants us to come to Him and deal with the matter that is keeping us from Him—it is out of love that He convicts. Condemnation, on the other hand, makes us feel ashamed and guilty and puts a heavy ceiling between God and us. That emotion is from Satan, who does not want us to draw close to God and will use our sins to keep us from Him. The difficult part is you can feel both emotions at the same time, and you willfully must choose to respond to conviction, or cave and give in to guilt, which is easier, but the effects are much more damaging. Therefore, as the scriptures say in Joshua 24:15, “And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” There are two ways—choose one. Change and hope start with first being honest with yourself.
Father God,
Again, our study is difficult, like the making of a diamond. The beauty and the potential of the diamond are seen by the master, as he skillfully but willfully hits and cuts the diamond until its potential is realized. Many calculated hits and cuts are required to bring out its beauty. You, Father God, are no different. We are Your diamonds in the rough, and through Your instruction of living life and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, You “hit and chisel away” all that distorts our worth and beauty in You. Help us to really understand this truth and not listen to the voice of fear, guilt, or insecurity, as we begin to bend our lives in Your direction. Thank you and Amen.
Move forward in His Grace – Arthur