Wisdom’s Cry Proverbs 3: 3&4, 9-12 (Part 7 – The Love of a Father)
“My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:
For — whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father — the son in whom he delighteth.”
“For — whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father — the son in whom he delighteth.” In last week’s Vida we focused on the first part of this verse, “not despising the chastening of the Lord.” To stay in the fire until the work has been done. The goldsmith of old knew the gold was pure when he could see his reflection. Gold is mined with soil and other minerals and has no value or use until it is pure. When our Father starts to see His reflection in us He knows that the work of chastening and correcting is having its perfect work. He is gaining a son or daughter that will not only love Him and receive His love, but will be faithful to represent His love to others. This is the end goal of all trials and troubles.
Trials and difficulties often last a life time because the desire to love ourselves is so woven into the fabric of our being that removing it takes much skill and time. As a cancer doctor tenuously seeks to remove the cancer without damaging the organs, so our Father patiently and skillfully seeks to remove the cancer of self love and at the same time build into us godly character. What is it that motivates the Lord to hang in there with us? “For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth.” There are times life is super painful and thoughts come that if this is love could you love someone else for a while? The word correcteth,”Yakah” has several meanings, ” to convince, convict, judge etc., but the one I find most interesting is this one,”to clarify a person’s moral standing.” And this is exactly what happens in trials and difficulties. How easy is it to say “I trust God, or I am a Christian” when all is going well. However what do we say when life is painful, when it’s hard, do we say the same? The Father’s goal is that we do, that we join Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego,
“Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful (bold statement) ‘on how’ to answer thee in this matter.If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.
Then was Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego: therefore he spoke, and commanded that they should heat the furnace one seven times more than it was wont to be heated (Daniel 3:16-18).”
The fact that Nebuchadnezzar was King over the Assyrian nation, the world power at the time, did not cause them to change in any way their response to him. They were bold and forth rite. Because of their boldness, something that no one ever dared to be with Nebuchadnezzar, he became beyond furious, ordering the furnace to be overheated. Yakah, God’s correction, had developed three sons that were faithful. Not only to death, but faithful to speak the truth with boldness. God was so much bigger to them than the King. May we join them in their faithfulness.
Problems with this verse come if we had less than a loving dad. We struggle with receiving the discipline as from a loving Father, “even as a father — the son in whom he delighteth.” It is interesting that God always likens himself to a Father as opposed to a mother. Though both roles are critical, the father’s role is that of provision and protection as well as supporting the mother’s role of compassion, kindness and love. And in that, comes discipline. Be it that of teaching and training or that of the rod of correction (Proverbs 22:13-14). Something that is frowned upon in our liberal society – probably because it has not been done with love.
If your had a parent or both that were overbearing, harsh, unengaged or devalued you, the concept of a loving father is hard to grasp. Especially when times are tough, it’s just too hard to believe that this is for my good. What does harshness produce in a child, “I must have done something terrible or something is terribly wrong with me. The feelings of having no worth or value, or not being important can be overwhelming. These are awful feelings that many adults carry with them from childhood. They are like a thick blanket between them and God. Fear is strong and the thought of reaching out to God and risking that He may reject me too is just too great a risk. “I would rather maintain a distance and believe that He loves me than find out to the contrary,” is an understandable thought.
What happens to these people? Well they may go to church because church is suppose to be safe, but they generally never go beyond that. Reading the Bible is a step they generally do not take. Or if they read the Bible, they read it from the perspective of trying to earn God’s favor and love rather than understanding that God’s favor and love has already been granted them (John 3:16). Many, especially young believers, fall into this trap and then become disillusioned when tragedy or hardship come and fall away from the Faith. I know as a young believer I struggled with this.
It’s impossible to earn God’s favor/love when He already has it in full measure for us. It’s like trying to earn $100 dollars when all I want is for you to open your hand and I will place it there. It’s a step of faith to sincerely open your heart and receive His love just because He wants to love you. Not for anything you’ve done or haven’t done. Another example is your inheritance. Whatever it will be, it has been yours from birth. You did not need to earn it. When one comes to Christ your inheritance is a relationship with your Heavenly Father, you cannot earn it, you must just live in it. A promise God gave Joshua defines what it means to have this relationship.” There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” ( Joshua 1:9). And this is His promise to us as well.
So how do we overcome our fears and insecurities? It is still a supernatural work of God, drawing his hurting child to Himself, but others can help. Flesh and blood believers sharing and giving God’s love. Also the faithful teaching of God’s Word washing away the pain. It can take a long time to undo the damage done by a harsh parent, mostly because it takes us so long to really trust God. On God’s end the healing can be short in comparison.
Whether you were fortunate to have had loving parents there are still issues in all of us that need changing. Whether it’s bad attitudes or habits, self motives or hurts from life events the healing/change occurs one way and one way only – it’s through the Holy Spirit. He can speak a word to our soul and supernaturally healing occurs or the crumbling of “road blocks.” He can also speak through a friend or a message from a pastor. For me, the route He has used the most is through the scriptures. That is why in every Vida I encourage us to be in His Word. The main pastor in my life, Pastor Chuck Smith often used this expression. “If all you have is the Word, you dry up. If all you have is the Spirit, you blow up (prideful) but if you have an equal balance of both, you grow up.” And it is so true. There are churches that teach the scriptures but no one has any joy, or churches where every one raises their hands but there is no depth or knowledge of the Word – it’s all feeling base. I have found very few churches that have the right balance, and why, I do not know. It does not seem that it should be that hard.
“the son in whom he delighteth.” I’m saving the best for last. Rasha ( delight) is a verb meaning to take pleasure in, to treat favorably, to favor, to accept. The thick black blanket can’t stand or remain in the presence of the truth.
“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:8)
Neither man, demon nor low self esteem can stand before a saint who stands on the specific promises in God’s Word that speak to the cause of their hurt and by faith continue to meditate on them until faith mets reality. Healing and/or change does come, obstacles are removed and a deeper freedom to really walk with God is gained.
Father God,
Thank you for this series on personal healing. So many of us our broken in different areas of our life. Please take each puzzle of our life, anoint it with your love and put us together the way you intended us to be. In the Name of Christ I claim this for us. Thank you and Amen.